


koi no yokan, my ikigai

by vitunmoinen_finnishperson



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: "roommate au", :), Alcohol, Angst, Art, Birthday Fluff, Birthday Sex, Birthday Smut, Birthdays, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Hurt No Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, Kinda, Long hair dream, M/M, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Road Trips, Romance, Self-Doubt, Smoking, Smut, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, and they were ROOMMATES, because I said so, but as a warning tho already, george has grown out hair but its not long, i believe in body mod supremacy-everyone is affected, i like birthdays :), i love sapnap, ill share my designs for them at some point, matching tattoos, rings and jewelry my good sir ;), sapnap is underrated
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 17:00:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29475120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vitunmoinen_finnishperson/pseuds/vitunmoinen_finnishperson
Summary: it was planned, they all knew how it was about to go down, how it would work. because it would work.they were all friends so why wouldn´t it?yeah well, apparently the statement "nothing ever goes as planned" holds some truth to it since one changed detail can seemingly change everything.or// a dnf fic idea i came up with at 2am in my bed and am now writing even tho the last time i wrote something is almost a year ago :´)(writing gets better and chapters get longer after the first one)
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)
Kudos: 2





	1. lacuna

"So you´ll be arriving like when?"

"I literally don´t know Dream. We don´t know how bad her situation is and I really don´t wanna risk anything."

"Yeah sorry, I get that. It just sucks, all of it, like not just the delayed move in part. All of it."

"Yeah."

George has already zoned out at that point really. They are all three on a discord call right then, trying to figure things out. 

They had been planning a move in for a really long time and everything had been practically set but then, maybe like a week ago Sapnap´s step mother had become ill and no one really had a clue about her state or what really was wrong with her, so they took her to the doctor and she´s been staying at home in bed since then according to Sapnap.

None of them really thought much about at it at first. But now when it´s been a week and she still hasn´t gotten better Sapnap is actually worried, Dream and George likewise. 

"George?" Dream questions carefully.

"Yes?" 

"You good man?" now in turn it´s Sapnap asking. He sounds tired, like they´ve been trying to get his attention for a long time now.

"Yeah, Yeah. Sorry, I kind of zoned out."

A silence follows. George hears Dream breathing on the other end but that´s all. Until it´s not.

"Did you seriously zone out when I talked about how my step mom is doing, for real?"

Okay, now he feels kind of bad. He really doesn´t mean to zone out when he does it, he doesn´t stop listening on purpose either but he also can´t really help it. Still; it´s no excuse and he gets how Sapnap must feel. This isn´t a light topic by any means and it´s actually really shitty of him not to listen in situations like this. 

But he still didn´t expect a silence like this, literally no one is saying anything.

Dream doesn´t say anything either. Why doesn´t he?

He doesn´t let these thoughts linger though as he goes for an apology as he anxiously twirls his ear piercing between his index finger and thumb. It´s a calming motion to him.

"I´m really sorry Sapnap, I didn´t mean to. And I really hope your step mother will feel better soon. I´m really sorry if it came off like I don´t care, I really do." He tries to sound as sincere as possible.

"Okay, yeah it´s cool." A moment of silence. "But the apology is appreciated though" Sapnap then chuckles. 

George hears Dream hum in what he supposes is agreement. 

"But like actually guys, I don´t know how long it will take for her to get better since we don´t even know what´s wrong in the first place. I´d just feel bad if I moved to another state right after something like this happens." 

"Yeah no, I really get that," Dream finally says "She´s a tough nut to crack though, I think in the end it will be fine but I understand that you wouldn´t wanna move away right after something like this happens."

"Yeah me too, from what you´ve told about her it seems like she´s a fighter." 

"Thanks you guys."

After a while though Dream speaks up again. "What are we gonna do ´bout the move in now though?"

"What do you mean?" Sapnap asks and George is also intrigued. 

"Like you know, do we push the date forward" he´s quiet for a second before continuing, more silently this time "or do we cancel the whole thing?"

Both Sapnap and George go silent at this, a pit of worry has time to settle in George´s stomach before Sapnap replies. 

"No, no, no guys. This is literally happening one way or another." he sighs "I´ve been waiting for this a really long time and even if I had to move in like let´s say three months later than planned I still want to."

George really wants to ask "but what about me?" but he also doesn´t want to seem self centered, luckily Dream has a similar thought pattern because the next thing heard on the call is:

"But what about George?"

"Nothing," Sapnap answers quickly "He moves in like planned, and I just move in a little later."

"Just George?" Dream sounds wary which causes the worry in George´s stomach to expand, to dig in deeper. It almost hurts. _Doesn´t Dream want him t-_

__"Yes..?" Sapnap sounds audibly confused now but he still pushes forward. "Why, is that like a problem-"_ _

____

"No, no no!... No. It´s not." The first part is hurried, almost panicky on Dream´s end.

____

The last part is quiet.. and soft in a way that tugs at George´s heart strings. It´s calming in a way. He hates how much impact Dream has on him.

____

"Well okay, then it´s settled" Sapnap still sounds a little confused but moves on with newfound confidence after a while (an admirable trait really, George thinks) "it´s Sunday right now, so then..." his speaking just turns into quiet mutters for awhile and George hears Dream giggle at this.

____

_It´s a nice sound._

______ _ _

"Okay! So, since today is a Sunday it has to be the 2nd, and George you´re supposed to arrive late on the 17th, right?"

______ _ _

"Yeah, correct." George smiles. "You do know you could´ve just asked us or like googled the date instead of whatever hell you just did." He gestures with his hand while speaking, even though neither Sapnap or Dream sees him do so. 

______ _ _

"Don´t bully me! I worked hard for this..." 

____George laughs before replying quickly, "Sap stop! I can literally hear the goddamn pout in your voice!"_ _ _ _

______ _ _

Dream wheezes at this which causes every one of them to have a laughing fit. It´s impossible not to laugh with him.

______ _ _

Mid laugh Sapnap quips in with "Are you making tea for George since you sound like a teakettle Dream?"

______ _ _

The lame joke gets a snort from George but Dream is already gone again. 

______ _ _

"That joke was so-" breathing pause "so bad!" And the laughing fit continues.

______ _ _

George smiles throughout the whole interaction, how could he not. _Dream is just s- Stupid._

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"This like reminds me of that one time Sap was dared to do a British accent, and he went like, like- they´re like yeehaw and I´m like, for the queen!"

_________ _ _ _ _ _

This one though earns a good bark of laughter from George, he remembers watching that stream and howling with tears in his eyes at Sapnap´s ridiculousness. 

_________ _ _ _ _ _

_________ _ _ _ _ _

He loves his friends he truly does.

_________ _ _ _ _ _

_________ _ _ _ _ _

_________ _ _ _ _ _

Once they´ve ended the call George feels kind of weird. Excited for his move in, worried for Sapnap´s step mother but mostly just tired. The different time zones really annoy him though because the time on his phone literally reads 03:47 am while it´s not even midnight for Dream nor Sapnap. Luckily that won´t be a problem for too long at all actually. But sleepiness in mind though he goes to brush his teeth and face. After washing his face he stands still for a moment, just staring at his reflection and having his reflection stare back at him. His hair was getting on the longer side, hanging over his ears and having a few strands fall in his face. It had a nice fluffy texture ever since he had started to take care of it but he still couldn´t decide whether he liked it or not. That applied to a lot of things about his appearance really. And many of these things only came to surface only after Dream had revealed his face for him, but this was of course something George would never tell him because he didn´t want Dream to feel bad or like he had done a mistake by "showing" himself, because in the end Dream was still not the cause for George´s insecurities- they came from within. On bad days though, he didn´t even want to go outside scared of what others thought about his appearance and on those days no matter how many of his fans told him he was good looking the thoughts didn´t leave him. In those moments he could only think of one person who could make him feel beautiful, but he had never dared to ask. He never would.

_________ _ _ _ _ _

_________ _ _ _ _ _

_________ _ _ _ _ _

\----------------------------------

_________ _ _ _ _ _

_________ _ _ _ _ _

Just when he´s about to turn off his phone and start sleeping he gets a snapchat and while opening the app he notices it´s from Dream. He doesn´t even notice he´s smiling like a dork before he stops doing so when opening the snap.

_________ _ _ _ _ _

It´s a picture of Dream smiling while holding up his hand so that his index finger is curled and his middle finger is pointing straight, forming a wonky heart, he´s even taken the time to outline the shape in blue.

_________ _ _ _ _ _

And fuck him, because George literally hates himself for studying Dreams features so closely, his tan skin, his freckled cheeks, his left eyebrow piercing that fits so nicely with the whole output, the whole aesthetic, with everything that makes Dream Dream. 

_________ _ _ _ _ _

He almost doesn´t even notice the grey text along with the picture but when he does he just gets more annoyed cause it´s just so _unfair_

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

cant wait for you to move in <3 

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters will get longer hereby!  
> Hope you´ll stick around till the end :)


	2. apricate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> George is tired, Dream is anxious, but they have each other and the frown they both started their day with caves.

When he wakes up he feels like literal rubbish. The sleep didn´t really do him any good, which was in it´s own way understandable since the amount of sleep he got was very minimal and the quality was close to zero. 

He lies silently in his bed for a really long time.., or not so long, he can´t really grasp the flow of time when he´s only just woken up.  
Finally though, he sits up while yawning loudly and stretching his arms in a big motion. He sits in a hunched over position that he could bet money on didn´t do any good for his posture, but he doesn´t move nor care. 

While sitting he occupies himself with taking in the all too familiar sight and environment that is his bedroom. The cluttered desk straight across from his bed, the grey walls that are in desperate need of a little touch up, and he even steals a quick glance at his surprisingly well taken care of, thriving even; cactus. He stares into nothingness for a while afterwards but then with one final yawn he stands up and quickly makes his bed, leaving his striped sheets folded just about neat enough.  
He takes notice of the chilly temperature in the apartment which causes him to pick up a pair of wool socks and thick sweatpants. He throws them on and that leads him to have his fit done for the day since he already has a hoodie on. In reality he doubts the apartment is anything else but warm since they´re literally still in the warm part of summer, but he never really could stand any sort of cold, always even sleeping with a hoodie on, no matter the weather. Looking at his clothes and feeling around his vibe for the day he made a decision to just not do anything and chill for the rest of the day. 

George is chilling on his terrace while sitting in his favorite chair, coffee cup resting on his knees that he has hunched up till his chest. The cup is still kind of supported by his pale hand just to be on the safe side, he´s basking in the sun rays that easily slip through the glass walls of the space. It feels nice. He has his phone in his left hand, easily scrolling through multiple apps while sipping on his coffee. He makes a big effort not to open snapchat though, since the last snap he got from Dream had once again put his thoughts in a nonstop movement even though it hadn´t been much. Literally nothing if you think about it. One picture, an everyday occurrence really. But to George it had felt way bigger, and he was confused because he didn´t know why he felt that way and he was stuck between wanting to know and never finding out. _George doesn´t trust his mind._

____

\---------------------------------

____

When Dream wakes up it´s 9 in the morning and the first thing he does is bolt right out of bed cursing himself for not closing the curtains. On his way to the window he stumbles on a box full of his clothes which causes him to cuss and hiss in pain. He violently tugs his curtains shut when he´s finally by the window, finally having the sun out of his eyes he takes a quick breather and quickly weighs his two options. Either he goes back to bed, praying that he will fall asleep again or then he just doesn´t resulting in him having an early morning.  
While the first option is definitely more appealing he already knows he has to pick the second. He has shit to do today. 

____

And while "shit to do today" really does not include opening snapchat and staring at the red outline of a snap been left on read for hours by now it is apparently invadable. Stupid fucking shit, he mutters to none other than himself as he throws his phone on his bed and makes his way to the bathroom.

____

By the end of the day Dream feels really accomplished, he´s done so much: some very simple things like feeding and playing with Patches, showering and all that regular shit, but he has also planned a few new upcoming videos, pinned a few trap ideas on pinterest for future use.. and he also went grocery shopping. He had been surviving on ramen for way too long so now he finally has a few fresh vegetables in his fridge alongside a tub of ice cream, the ice cream wasn´t really too relevant but he felt like buying it so he did.

____

He had also called Sapnap.  
His step mom´s state had remained the same from the last time Sapnap had given any updates, which was good. As long as her state didn´t worsen it was all more or less good. Sapnap had still talked about cancelling his flight to Florida which Dream of course understood, but it still made him sad. He missed Nick. He really did. In the end they had also talked about how ironic it was that Sap was the only one who had started properly packing and he wasn´t even going to move in now. 

____

They had ended the call with happy goodbyes, wishes of luck from Dream to Sap´s step mom and the last line heard on call was Sapnap´s chuckle as he urged Dream to start packing. Dream had pressed the red button, ending the call with a smile on his face. 

____

Maybe like an hour or so after their call Dream really, like actually registered the fact that shoot-he really should start packing. There was a time period of a solid two weeks before George would fly to Florida and they´d have their move in and Dream has no clue what to pack, but he has a hunch of how to get started.  
He turns his head to the right taking his eyes away from where he´s neatly seated, covered in blankets as he reads the time, 8:57 pm, wait, wait, wait, quick math´s now Dream. It actually takes him embarrassingly long to figure out that it´s almost 2 am for George right now.  
He knows George loves sleeping, he has made that very clear on many occasions and to add he was also on call with Dream and Sapnap really late just yesterday. And still adding on to the list he had also left Dream on read and hadn´t really been properly online on any app today (because okay yeah, maybe Dream kind of checked) but Dream really wanted to try this.  
Oh fuck it he grabs his phone, he was going to do it anyways, might as well just get it over with. 

____

"you up?" he kind of cringed at that, it´s like the most basic fuck boy line to exist, he could´ve surely come up with something b-  
"Mhm" reads George´s answer and Dream would lie if he said he wasn´t a little bit surprised. He really thought George would be asleep by now or if nothing else ignoring Dream.  
"ok" he types out and cringes again, he´s terribly bad at texting.  
"That´s a really lame reply Dream"  
He chuckles and goes in for writing a reply but George is faster.  
He doesn´t send a text though, he sends a snap. Dream wastes no time in opening it.  
"What do you want" reads the first grey line of text, "You´re keeping me awake" reads the second and at the same time last line. Dream looks at the photo for a while, it´s a whole face pic and George has a deadpan face and he looks tired, and as an perfect addition he also has his middle finger raised high, right next to his face.  
Dream screenshots the picture while lightly wheezing.  
He replies quick with a shaky picture because he literally cannot stop laughing and he quickly types out  
"IM LEAKING THIS TO THE FANS, THEIR ALL TIME WHOLESOME STREAMER NOT SO WHOLESOME ANYMORE" before pressing send.  
Delivered, Read, Open snap.  
"You´re dumb" "But fr though like why, what" the snap is of George´s bedsheets, they´re striped in blue which really comes as no surprise to Dream.  
"can i call you, im too tired to write it"  
He doesn´t even wait for George´s reply before typing in his number and calling. He´s pretty sure it doesn´t even ring once before George is picking up. 

____

"Hi."  
"Hey." George says around a yawn. After that there´s like a silence for what, maybe 10 seconds before George loses his patience. "Okay Dream, speak now. I´ll fall asleep right this second if you don´t." the sentence lacks heat and George just sounds sincerely tired. "Why are you not asleep then yet?" "Cool, not the point." George deadpans, voice holding an edge to it. Dream chuckles while hoping that the annoyance starting to seep into George´s voice will ebb away, this wasn´t his intention. Then say it. "Have you started packing yet?" "Don´t really see a point to start this early." George sounds like many things in that moment, he sounds annoyed, tired and overall confused, Dream doesn´t acknowledge this. "It´s not early, it´s only two weeks." "Yeah but I have to live off of these things until then, I can´t just go and like pack all my spatulas in a box when I´ll most probably need them even right afterwards.. basically." "You have clothes? Pack those?" George huffs in what is now clearly only annoyance. "Dream. I literally do not understand why you´d call me in the middle of the night just to tell me to pack, that´s stupid." George sounds annoyed but reserved. At least it´s not 100% only annoyance. Dream sucks in a breath and just when he´s about to speak George continues in a kinder tone, a tone more like himself. "Unless there´s like something else behind it, or you have something completely else to tell me?" if Dream can read George´s way of speaking and tone any good he would even say George sounds kind of.. hopeful? But Dream is here to disappoint on a regular basis cause his reasoning starts to lose all sense it even ever had to him and whatever George sounds so hopeful of will probably not be achieved. "I can´t pack." He blurts out. Smooth. "What?" He can feel the uncontrollable word vomit in his mouth. He decides that he´ll judge himself later. "I can´t like focus, my brain picks up on everything around me when I´m packing and like boxing things away." He has his phone in a death grip and he´s hugging his knees. He feels nervous talking about things like these even though George is one of his best friends, it makes him feel stupid. He tries to resist the urge to bite his nails, in vain because before he even notices it he´s biting away. "For example, once, I was supposed to pack away all of my toys as a kid," he continues. "I remember starting at 7pm because that´s when my mom came into my room and told me I should start. I started and I never finished. Instead I ended up with no sleep, three lost toys, five starts of what I then thought were cool stories and one videogame idea I still have written down somewhere." He´s out of breath and he doesn´t know if during the time he´s regaining his breath he´s waiting for an answer from George, but once he has fixed his breathing he decides to continue. His voice is a lot more careful now. "So I literally can´t pack and I thought that what if we packed our things on facetime together it´d be more fun and you could also like tell me to snap out of if you noticed that I can´t focus."

____

It´s silent and suddenly he tastes blood. Oh shit, a huge part of his nail is missing on his thumb. He stands up quickly and drops his phone on the sofa before he speed walks to the bathroom to wrap up his finger. When he returns he sits next to his phone expecting that George has hung up but instead he´s met with half a sentence from George´s end. 

____

"-you there, can you hear me Dream. Dream?"  
"Sorry, sorry I was afk."  
"You can´t use that in this, dumbass."

____

Dream hums silently. He hopes George drives the conversation back to the prior topic. He doesn´t want to do it himself. But after a good while of silence Dream realizes George isn´t going to do it so he sighs before very carefully asking:  
"Was my idea completely stupid? Like are you okay with doing that at all?"  
George takes no time before answering in a soft tone "We can do it Dream, it´s not stupid at all."  
Dream smiles and feels heat rise to his cheeks, what is this feeling? He feels warm all over.  
"Yay." he whispers and George laughs happily.  
"Do you want to do it now?"  
"You should sleep."  
"Eh."  
Dream doesn´t even have time to blink before George has hung up on him and is already calling again but in facetime this time. Dream quickly presses accept and makes himself comfortable holding his phone a good bit from his face.  
"Hi again," he says. "Hi again," George repeats. George is laying on his stomach, head resting on his pillow while holding his phone at arm´s length from himself. He´s smiling. _He looks cute. _  
"What do you want to start with?"  
"You choose."  
Silence. "Sorting clothes."  
"Okay then, let´s begin."__

__They had been on call for hours._ _

They had been talking about video ideas, collaborations and streams, Dream had also talked about Patches and how she had looked really adorable when playing with a fake feather toy. They were simply put talking about everything that came to mind and George had listened to Dream´s rambles with soft smiles while folding clothes neatly in place only ever interrupting Dream if he noticed Dream was loosing focus.  
When they had ended the call Dream had rubbed his face noticing that something in it hurt. It had been his cheeks.  
_They hurt from smiling._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter feels much more pleasing to post than the first. I at least feel like this is better written and the added length is nice. Though I do want future chapters to be longer, baby steps lmao
> 
> -come talk in the comments! :0


End file.
